Dr. Jason Brooks, Personal Development Coach with over 20+ years of experience joins us to discuss strategies for achieving lasting personal health goals and how to overcome barriers that may be setting you back:
"I like to say that I am here to help people nurture the right internal climate to support living and performing well. Often that work includes interrogating old narratives and beliefs we take on over the span of our lives that if unchecked, can really limit one’s possibilities. These old stories can produce a ton of interference that leaves us feeling stuck, unfulfilled, and as though we are underperforming. Together, we work to come up with a vision of what “better” could be, along with identifying the barriers that could interfere with our efforts (barriers within us and around us) and then how to leverage against those with a plan to stay consistent."
Link to website: https://coachjb.ca
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- What is well-being to you and how does it contribute to our daily lives?
It’s a great question. At the core I’d say it reflects the overall state of health for a person and is reflected in a variety of factors that are force multipliers to overall wellbeing. These would include: the continued nurturance of one’s physical, mental/emotional, and spiritual health; the presence of important relationships and support; a broad and multi-faceted sense of self; the pursuit of roles and activities that provide a sense of meaning and purpose and satisfaction, and lastly, a perspective on our life that is aligned with what we want to experience, and that is stronger than whatever circumstances we might have to face. With all that being said, one’s state of wellbeing is vital towards experiencing the kind of life that one aspires to. Conversely, if we are lacking in any of those key areas it can really diminish what we think, and feel is possible.
- What personalized approach can individuals take to set achievable health and wellness goals that inspire and motivate them to stay committed to the long-term?
By far the best goals are the ones we can actually stay consistent with. This is where people struggle the most – just ask anyone who has bailed on New Year’s resolutions not long after setting them. And so, for a lot of folks, their relationship with goal setting is a rocky one to begin with. The key to success then is just as much about earning the right to trust that I can stay consistent and that’s the part people don’t fully appreciate. To illustrate, I know a guy that wanted to be fitter and had tried many times to do so but was unable to sustain his progress. After some reflection he realised that the pace/demand of the goal was creating a ton of resistance (e.g., doubt, worry, frustration, fear of failing, feeling like it’s too hard etc.) and that this energy was in essence beating down his desire and confidence to stay with it. It wasn’t that he was uncommitted it was rather just a poorly designed goal that hadn’t factored in all the ways in which his mind would actively work against the change he was committed towards (the mind likes what is familiar, comfortable, and predictable – change can feel like a threat). So, he approached the goal differently by committing to what he calls “the aggregation of marginal gains”, a term that reflects a more measured effort that he could stay consistent with. He set a ton of small goals that were connected to the big goal. For example, he spent 3 months slowly eliminating bad food choices from his diet one at a time until he felt he had overcome the urge. In doing it this way, 1. He was making steady progress 2. The smaller goals triggered less resistance inside of him which allowed him to stick with it 3. He got to experience many “wins” each time he eliminated a bad food source 4. Those wins served to fuel more trust to keep going AND provided tangible evidence that he could be successful. Patience and persistence are required in equal measure to sustain lifestyle goals.
Another suggestion would be to ensure that the goal is systemised. Saying “I’m going to eat healthy next week, or do yoga” or whatever, is not the same as “I am going to eat healthy and here is what I will eat, and what I need in place to do so, and how I will prepare it ahead of time and who can help me etc.” James Clear, author of Atomic Habits wrote “we don’t rise to the level of our goals, we sink to the level of our systems” …and he is right about that. So, in designing how you will attack the goal consider what systems you could implement (e.g., consistent scheduling; having what you need ready; enlisting supports; reminding yourself why the goal is worth it; being ready for the inner resistance that might try and give us an out etc.) to increase the likeliness of staying consistent.
- How do we overcome physical barriers/setbacks while transforming them into opportunities?
My Master’s thesis focused on how elite performers bounce back from critical incidents of adversity. We all know the sayings “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”, or “you learn way more from setbacks than you do success”. There is a lot of truth to those sentiments but going through hard times in and of itself does not guarantee any rich lessons or discoveries but rather it’s what we DO with those experiences that matters. When we face a setback our confidence and spirit are tested. We may start to focus on “why” questions such as “why is this so hard?”, “why aren’t the results happening quicker?”, “why am I doing this?” etc. What we don’t often do in those moments is answer those questions. We just perseverate on them and elevate our fear and frustration and slowly, this can erode our confidence to stick with it. Successful people that I know are anchored to a strong sense of meaning and purpose in the things that they do. When life serves up a challenge and they are temporarily shaken off course they can shift their attention to the reasons why the goal is worth the struggle. I like the visual of a balancing scale here. If the weight of your meaning and purpose and joy for doing something is a stronger force than the toughest moments you could face along the way to the goal, that scale shifts in the right direction and you will persevere. A strong and clear purpose is kryptonite to setbacks and challenges.
I think there is an element of acceptance that is important here to. Change can be hard, so the sooner we accept and embrace that success is not necessarily going to be a straight line, and that setbacks and plateaus and sometimes losing focus or drive are all PART OF pursuing important goals, the less time and energy is wasted feeling sorry for ourself. To paraphrase a quote from the great Marcus Aurelius, the obstacle on the path becomes the path. The quicker we accept and adapt to the setback, the more at ease our mind becomes, and the more focused we can be on simply doing what it takes to get through the obstacle.
Additionally, in times of setback it is important to access people and supports that can help guide you through. Be that a friend or loved one who is ready to hold space where you can share your frustrations and feel heard. Or perhaps what would be helpful is to seek out someone that can provide tactical advice (e.g., a coach, a nutritionist, a physiotherapist, a person who has faced a similar setback etc.) to get your focus and attention back on solutions and next steps.
- What role does a positive mindset play in reaching your goals?
One of my favourite definitions of Performance is that Performance = Potential – Interference. A mind that is at ease and unburdened is in a much better state to perform than one that is caught up in negative thoughts and feelings. Negative thoughts and feelings produce a lot of interference that draws attention away from the task or goal, and can sap us of our energy, motivation, and confidence. As author and Coach, Trevor Moawad likes to say, “Negativity works negatively, 100 % of the time”. In a positive state of mind, we are more present, have better focus, learn better, see things quicker, burn less energy, bounce back better, and enjoy the process of working towards the goal. A positive mindset also serves as a great perspective shifter when we hit a setback or start to lose motivation.
I am also a big believer in working backwards from the goal in my mind. Imagine you are at the base of a mountain that you intend to climb and are looking up at the summit. It would be easy to feel intimidated by the goal from that perspective. Thoughts of “it’s so high, it’s so far, can I actually make it” would be quite natural to enter awareness. So then don’t live at the base of the mountain in your mind. My approach would be to smell and taste and see myself at the summit having that beautiful experience and savoring the joy of that accomplishment every step of the way. I want to live out the completed goal in my head and heart, every step up the mountain I take. I don’t have to wait for the summit (i.e., the end goal) to experience the joy and satisfaction from it if I allow myself to channel those feelings AS I inch towards the end goal. Same applies to whatever wellness goals one has. Feel the future feelings now, and they will help propel you to the very end goal that they are associated with.
One final note on the value of a positive mindset which is that sometimes it can be tough to genuinely feel positive about something we are presently feeling quite negative about. For example, I don’t think a player that misses a winning shot, or a person that has suffered an injury in pursuit of a goal feels all that positive initially about what has happened. As a first step towards better, I’d suggest focusing on being less negative (and more neutral). For example, if I miss the game winning shot, I will acknowledge that wasn’t the result I want and that it may have me feeling sad or angry because that’s real to what I am actually experiencing. What happens next however does not have to flow from what has happened (and how I am feeling about it). What happens next is predicated on what I DO next as in the next breath, the next game, the next moment etc. So, it might sound like this: “Man I am upset with myself that I missed that shot and that’s going to sting…but right here right now (deep breath and exhale) I need to stay focused on the next game, I need to draw the lessons from this and make improvements, I need to be a leader to my team and stay composed in defeat”. Negative thoughts and feelings are often a stronger pull on our mind’s attention than positive ones. So if I start first by reducing the intensity of the negativity I am feeling, it can dissolve some of the interference and then, make the prospect of moving towards a more positive view of things more natural.
- What is your advice for those afraid to start?
I have great news for those folks: THEY are not afraid to start…but there is a part of them that is! And that part of them (call it the ego, the inner critic, the inner child, heck you can call it Larry for all I care) is scared and needs a couple of things to lower its resistance: 1. It needs to know that you hear its concerns 2. It needs to know that we will be ok if we proceed with the goal. So, talk to “that part of you” that is scared or anxious and give it what it needs: some reassurance and perhaps some additional information that will allow it to settle into the periphery. Information that highlights the reasons why you can make this change: e.g., your plan is solid, you have support systems in place, your reasons for pursuing the goal are stronger than the resistance that can come up, you have achieved hard goals before, you are ready to work for the life you want etc.
Another tip to help work through the fear of starting is again, to come up with a system that supports your efforts. A system provides structure, accountability, and a pathway to success. Sustained success hinges on being consistent and systems help with that tremendously. Finally, start with a goal that you are quite certain you can achieve and then level up to a more challenging one. Meeting a goal is about behaviours and beliefs working in unison. By starting with an achievable goal, we begin to strengthen the trust and belief we have in our ability to do hard things.